How to retire at age 30 - 金融分析師

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How to retire at age 30

Age 18 - Get admitted to a top university. Take out loans if necessary. Get a
degree in CS, math, applied math or physics and another one in economics or
finance. Read books about the markets and learn how to program. Do
internships each summer at brokerage firms, law firms, consultancies, or
banks. Make friends with people with rich parents.

Age 22 - (optional) - Get a master's degree in something applied, like
financial engineering. Network like a little bitch.

Age 23 - Move to New York and become an analyst at a top firm. Focus on
positions in banking, trading, sales, or on the buy side. Start working
insane hours and dedicate your life to your job. It will help if you are
actually interested in what you are doing. You will probably make around 100K
USD your first year. To save money, share an apartment with a friend. If your
local real estate is not in a bubble, consider buying a place.

Age 25 - Caffeine is your best friend. If applicable, sleep with your
superiors, but don't sleep otherwise. You should make around 200k this year.
After taxes and expenses, try to save 75 or so. You will have to take some
risks in your p.a., but that's what it's all about, right?. If you gain some
insights from your job, by all means apply them to your p.a. P.S.: you've
gained 20 pounds since college, and your mom makes fun of your new double
chin behind your back, but who the fuck cares?

Age 27 - Your title starts with "V" and the number in your p.a. starts with 4
or 5. Been on a date or gotten any lately? Didn't think so. You hate the
world and you've become a hardened New Yorker. You take a car home from work
every night around 11 while frantically thumbing on your Crackberry. Your mom
only hears from you on her birthday and Yom Kippur. You fired your first guy
this year.

Keep your eyes on the prize.

The trend is your friend (until the end).

Age 30 - A big bonus puts you over the top. You have your six zeroes. If
you're greedy, or you love power, and yourself, stay on 5 or 10 more years
and get a couple more bucks. But why? You are used to living in
self-deprivation and what is essentially poverty. You don't need any more
money. You leave to "pursue other interests."

Age 31 - Sleep all year. This is like recovering from a meth addiction. All
the old things you used to care about are dead. Remember how you used to play
basketball, the bass, the field? Maybe there is still a seed of your old self
lying dormant deep within. Maybe your old self can be resurrected. Maybe your
knees are not shot, maybe your soul is not dead, maybe you can still get an
erection without medication. There is hope!

Age 33 - You get married, start having kids, move someplace with a high
quality of life and low cost of living. In the US, the following places come
to mind: Burlington, VT; Charlotte, NC; Austin, TX; Portland, OR; Madison,
WI. Volunteer to help homeless youth or Hispanic immigrants. You don't really
have an income anymore, but maybe you can earn a few bucks on the side from
your hobbies: you can build furniture, refurbish classic cars, or write an
investment newsletter. You are living off your savings, so you will have to
be smart with your investments. You have 1 or 2 million bucks, and if you're
smart, that will kick off 50-100k every year, and what's more, it's
investment income so it's taxed at way lower rates than labor income (thank
you, GWB). Your biggest worrry is inflation, so your portfolio is
concentrated in assets that pass inflation through: TIPS for the short term,
real assets for the medium term, and stocks for the long run, baby!

Age 40 - (Good scenario) - You are fully self-actualized. You laugh early and
often, and you have won the love of small children and the respect of
intelligent men. You have four children, and the oldest knows how to derive
Ito's lemma and can play the entire _The Art of Fugue_ by heart. Your wife
cooks a damn fine pot roast every night, reaches orgasm every time you boink
her, which is often, and worships you. That 20 pounds of fat has been
replaced by pure muscle. You sit on the boards of several local foundations,
and play bass in a jazz band.

Age 40 - (Bad scenario) - Five years ago, you played golf every day and had a
martini before dinner. Two years ago, you played golf twice a week and went
to happy hour the other days. Now, you can't remember what golf is and you
start drinking at 11 AM.

After age 40? Jesus, that is far too abstract...I'm 26 for Chrissakes...and
on schedule I might add...


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