可以幫我看看~我寫得英文自我介紹嗎~!?(二技推甄面試) - 面試

我下禮拜就要二技推甄面試了~!!
我推ㄉ是建國科大的運動健康與休閒系~!!
因為我五專讀的是應用外語系~!!我怕他會叫我用英文自我介紹~!!各位能幫我看看我這樣說可以ㄇ???
Good morning professor
My name is XXX. I’m come from Hsinchu county and I’m graduated from TA HWA Institute of Technology. I think that I have the earnest responsible manner、optimistic、well interpersonal relationship and good patience so that I will not have the conflict individuality easily. I’m interest in play basketball and cheer leading, because it can let me learn what is teamwork, because I learn the importance of teamwork.
I study in Department of Applied Foreign Languages. I think language is kind of materials, but I want to learn more other professional knowledge and technology. As a result of I work in Green World for five years, but it is part-time not full-time. Therefore I am interested in the leisure, recreation and tourism enterprise. For the example, how can we manage the leisure amusement and recreation enterprise? Perhaps how should we let the leisure amusement and recreation enterprise develop quickly. Nowadays, the leisure activities are received seriously by people. Additionally, I like the sports or joining some leisure activity, so I want to study in Department of Kinesiology, Health, Leisure Studies.
Thank you for your attention
各位教授好
我的名字叫做XXX
我來自新竹北埔，畢業於大華技術學院應用外語系
我覺得我有認真負責的態度.樂觀.人際關係良好.有毅力及不易與人發生衝突的個性
我的興趣是打籃球和跳啦啦隊. 我可以從中學習團隊合作的重要性

我就讀大華技術學院應用外語系
我覺得語言是一種工具
但是我想學到更多其他的專業知識與技術
由於我在北埔綠世界打工五年
所以對於休閒事業感到興趣
像是該如何經營休閒遊憩事業
或是該如何讓休閒遊憩事業蓬勃發展
現在休閒活動對人們來說是受到非常的重視
加上我喜愛運動或是參加一些休閒活動
所以我選擇就讀運動健康與休閒系
謝謝各位教授的聆聽