我的人生處處被別人限制該怎麼辦? - 醫生
By Isla
at 2014-01-12T19:11
at 2014-01-12T19:11
Table of Contents
內心有很多夢想,很多計畫想要完成,卻處處被別人限制。
小時候我就因為自己的外表屢屢在人生的各個層面上吃了大虧。
我始終不能了解,我花了大量的時間在課業上,我犧牲了玩樂、交朋友、學才藝的時間
只希望能看一眼爸媽滿是成就的笑容,只希望一瞥老師肯定的讚許。卻始終得不到一種
單純的 受朋友支持與鼓勵的溫暖。因為我把時間都拿去念書,反被同學恥笑 ""書呆子""
"那個沒屁用的廢物,跑不快,跳不高" "只會考試以後還不是會被別人打爆"。當我在
小學三年級 第一次在班上眾人面前被嘲笑說"這個年代還能在班上找到像你這樣的處男
耶!! 真是笑死我了~" ,我就下定決心 要讓妳們這些狗眼看人低的傢伙下場死得很難看!!
我的爸媽是典型的軍人家庭,對子女的管教不可不謂 權威嚴厲至極,從小他們花了很
多的錢在我的教育上面。考試考不好就補習,請老師,買課本。看似對我很好。但事實
卻不是這樣。
現在我已經23歲了,現在在一家教學醫院裡面當見習醫師。本該有大好前程與時間,去
完成我從小的夢想與計畫,同時改變一生讓我事事不順的外貌。卻處處被家人限制。
直到現在,我出門要去哪裡還要通知我媽,我希望家裡每個月固定給我5000元生活費,
我可以慢慢存錢。希望能存錢治裝打扮,或學習上課的學費。沒想到我媽卻故意遲遲不
給錢,非要我一個半月清光了我所有的積蓄 之後 才遲遲地匯2000~3000元進來,擺
明不想讓我有錢用。
當見習醫師的這一年壓力不大,我希望能多培養興趣專長,多學習。沒想到每次跟我媽
提起我的計畫,不是被斥責一陣就是悶不吭聲,似乎覺得我的計畫都是多餘的。從來
也不願意給我錢去履行計畫。
而且,因為我醜陋的外貌,到現在也找不到女朋友。雖然說常聽人說我的專業才是人生
的保障,但我寧願相信擁有俊美外貌的醫生其在職場上的競爭力與人緣勢必會比我好很
多。除了我的核心專業之外,我應當把我小時候沒學過的,沒體驗過的,都弄嫻熟,一個
人的綜合競爭力是多元發展的。我千方百計的不想成為書呆子,我要成為文武皆通的專才
因為我要報仇,我要讓那些從小笑我的人後悔。要讀書我海電你,要玩我也絕對不會輸
你,妳們這些人在我眼中只是個廢物。
最近聽聞大我8歲的醫生學長已經準備要結婚了,心裡真的非常焦急,同我現在的競爭力
真的能在8年內找到女友並且結婚嗎?為什麼我千方百計的要突破改進我的缺點與劣勢
我爸媽卻千方百計的要阻撓我?
終於我懂了,原來他們是自私的,我在他們眼裡不若一般待宰的肥羊,只是一個提款機。
從小他們花大錢培養我上醫學系是為了甚麼? 為了自己的利益、膚淺的虛榮心、與拿不完
的養老費用。為的全是自己,我在學校被欺負了他們也不管,我想要花錢上課,學習
參加活動,他們就死命的斥責,不願花一毛錢在這種"沒利益"的事上面。我的外表太醜陋
以後可能娶不到老婆要找越南新娘他們也不在意 因為對他們來說無足輕重???他們只要
繼續限制我的成長與發展,繼續養大這頭肥羊啥事都不做,以後他們爽爽拿錢就沒事了??
我很恨,我恨我爸媽箝制我的思想,阻絕一切讓我學習的機會。恨我滿腦子夢想卻不得
而行。恨我小時候的同學現在吃香喝辣的 我卻沒有機會一屑前恥 把他們打趴跪在我面前
認錯。
我的心被枷鎖深深的綁在狹窄的家裡,求生不得,求死不能。注定一生當個魯蛇。
我到底該怎麼辦?
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