家兄該怎辦 - 公職
By Catherine
at 2010-07-01T13:35
at 2010-07-01T13:35
Table of Contents
偶然看到上一篇 也順便來這邊講講哥哥的問題
困擾我ㄧ家呀..文章有點長,不好意思!!
背景:
我哥現在27歲,還在做兼職工作,一個月賺不到兩萬(一九多)
南部私立日文系畢業,連二級都沒考過關,整天看日文節目,我爸媽在旁開玩笑問
這句是什麼意思,半句屁都翻譯不出來(我是不好意思問...= = )
整天也沒想過要從事關於日文的行業,最誇張有一次
它朋友要從台灣sony與日本客戶接洽的部門離職
問他要不要去試試看,他也拖好幾天,完全不積極就讓機會錯失掉
它朋友就說很抱歉有人去了,就是做什麼都不積極沒信心了。
不知道是沒興趣還是只是為了要懂宅的東西,大概有30隻BB戰士,是他的娛樂
領錢就會去買一兩隻,然後大隨身碟(40G以上那種) 理面全部都是宅的東西
下載永遠下載不完(還為了這個主動幫家裡升級成光纖就是要拼速度
怕被我發現或是影響到我,其實我早知道)
,A片電影遊戲漫畫都有,還會玩以前的單機版遊戲免光碟版
就是那種仙劍年代的,一大堆 整天破不完,也有PS2,電腦知識也不差拉,就是宅
放假就是整天關房間,都不出來說話,講話很急躁就是阿宅的感覺,我覺得有點淺
會打蘭球運動,但是只有一個球友,而且在場上很內向從不說話
看起來很悶,沒有多強這樣別人久了會不太想主動找你一隊吧
情緒管理好像不是很好,常常悶在那邊,但是真的忍不住的時候(很少啦)
會大爆發嚇到人
親戚聚會都不理人
長輩關心後輩找他說話都不裡,這兩年聚會就沒啥人要理他了
我覺得最白癡的是,他講宅的東西或是其他無關成就的事情(如運動烹飪等等)
就好大聲很有興趣,還常常要壓過我勒,
但父母一講到人生規劃,或是你對什麼領域有興趣,我爸媽都快急死了
擔心他總不能一值作兼職
它就惦惦不講話,完全就是教育失敗,對任何一門科系領域從來沒有興趣過
父母親問他考銀行或考公職好不好,他也不吭聲,我覺得,如果他不爽要
就大聲說不阿,就去做自己喜歡做的嘛!喜歡宅(他還滿喜歡電腦知識等)
就去賣3C嘛,之類的,掌這麼大沒一點自信~不敢做
之前我爸還主動說要給他一百萬去日本留學想說這樣就可以日文爆強
它也放棄,到底在想啥?是不是活再自己的宅宅世界裡?
它是很乖,不抽菸不喝酒不去夜店不賭博,也不愛花錢很省,沒交過女友
但是我覺得這樣會不會對一個快三十的男生不好
因為總不能一直這樣下去,會不會憋出病來
然後最後頹廢一生,或是大爆發忍不住怎樣的
而且它是牡羊座,自我意識超強,從不在意別人眼光,同理心感受力敏感度極低
別人好意它都會以自己角度否決,完全是個人際白癡(我猜他防衛是自卑)
它有說過,他過的爽就好,我父母其實擔心的要死,我是擔心他這樣宅
怎麼找老婆還有對任何領域都沒興趣,這樣怎麼在社會力足
畢竟又不能去服務業,服務業的人說也許不愛唸書,但是喜歡與人相處
主動積極態度好,主要是喜歡與人相處這點
完全打死我哥服務業這條路,他悶到爆,有一點社交恐懼症
內向那又不愛唸書,又不想考個穩定公職,這樣怎辦阿?
又不可能叫他去做粗工,他也不願意阿!
難道要一被子這樣嗎
它的沒自信其實很大原因是我父母造成的
它國小畢業還有領市長獎,國小幾乎都第一名(雖然我那個國小不是很城市很強的國小
但也真夠強了吧
國小就補習捕到爆,學鋼琴我爸在旁邊拿棍子彈錯就打手指這樣逼
我覺得我哥好可憐(後來對我就比較開明),後來他國中就從此不碰琴了
是不是從小就彈性疲乏了??
我父母教育他的時候幾乎都是用吼用打的,很傷自尊那種
所以現在我父母也有點愧疚,心理急的要死,但又怕給他太大壓力
要說不說要勸不勸的,很難過
因為它是越來越差,國小第一名→國中超強升學班後面名次→高中很爛的斑中後名次
→南部私立大學
我發現一個可怕的事實
一個人要是沒自信,真的很可怕~~也可以說,一個人再怎麼差,只要他有自信起飛
且有付諸行動,都來得及! 最怕就是這種心已死萬念俱灰的我哥
短期內也沒說他要換工作,整天一天過一天,出門嘆氣,像個悶老頭
回家下班(大概晚上12點我爸媽都睡了)
它就開心了,下班就開始宅著玩電動宅房間,好像在躲我爸媽似的
因為價日他也不敢出來外面,可是平常晚上12點下班就會跟我一起看電視
我可很明顯感覺到,我爸媽在它眼中 就是有陰影 有壓力
我很想勸他不要在意任何人眼光了,就全力活出自己,想幹麻就幹麻
我爸媽現在也會支持他
到底該怎辦呢,我該怎麼跟哥哥說或是什麼具體行動
讓它醒來不要再宅不要再沒自信?
謝謝看完,很長,謝謝!
對了我忘了說,我哥一個月還給我媽三千元!!
是很乖嘛?? 因為我聽我同學工作的很多都沒給耶
我爸媽這點是覺得欣慰的,覺得滿乖拉,我也覺得
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