英文自介-求檢查或修改-下 - 工作

小弟寫了一份英文自介的講稿，面試時要說的。我找了一些資料東湊西湊，但是感覺還是怪怪的很沒有把握，煩請幫我檢查一下內容或是你覺得哪句或哪段改成怎樣比較好。因為內容不算短，所以我分成了上下兩段並提出兩次問題。
除了感謝你的幫忙之外，兩個問題各贈20點做為微薄的謝意。
內文開始-part 2
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When I was in university, I joined a pop music club and I formed a band after looked
for each member, and what’s more, I was elected to be leader of the band. We had a few performances and many rehearsals.
In order to reduce the burden of my parents, I had some experience of part-time
worked during my college years. I worked part-time at XXX(某餐飲業) and I was a
cook in the store. It was very busy at daily mealtimes, so it’s important to have a
great teamwork, and I had a joyful cooperation with my colleague. However, I also
hope to have a pretty good team climate of cooperation in the future work.
在我大學期間，我加入了熱音社，並且尋找組員後成立了樂團，而且被推選為樂團團長，我們有過幾次表演和數次的排演。
為了減少我父母的負擔，在我大學期間，我到XXX(某餐飲業)打工並且擔任廚師。每到用餐時間就會相當的忙碌。所以有良好的團隊合作是相當重要的；在這段時間與個同事的合作相當愉快，也希望在未來的工作上也能有很好的團隊合作。