英文高手請看看我的英文翻譯 - 面試

請英文高手幫我看看我的英文有沒有哪邊怪怪的~要修改
請幫我潤飾文法囉~要面試用的~謝謝!!附上中文
(碩一時帶領班上同學參加世新大學讀書會，並到得學生組 優等的佳績。曾擔任系上教學助理，協助老師課程的運作。在求學和打工過程皆付出比其他同學多的時間與心力，精亦求精，堅信勤能補拙，更以班上第一名的優異成績畢業。如有機會進入貴公司，我必將畢生發揮所學，憑藉著我的好學與毅力，我有自信能勝任愉快。)
In the first year of my graduate school, I have led my classmates and won a excellence prize in Shih-Hsin study group. I have learned much when I was a teaching assistant; I get along well with both the students in class and my foreign teacher. I believe that diligence can make up for deficiency and I spend much time on both my study and my job than my classmates. Therefore, I have finished my thesis and graduate as the first one. During the time of writing our paper, I had learned many and had grow up discuss in the periodical meeting and collect data, and also obtained much in dealing with problems. If I have a chance to join your company, I will work hard and dedicate to my work, I am confidence that I can work well and enjoy my work with my a studious and sedulous heart.
Update:
(大學時加入學生會，學習到很多管理和待人處事的方法，也了解到如何撰寫活動的企劃書、預算表，如何有效的在時間內分工合作完成一件事，如何帶領一個團體和組織的運作。 曾擔任副美宣部長和公關部長，也主辦了學生會的迎新茶會，有幸不負眾望，招收到比往年更多的新生加入，學生會成了新生入學討論的社團。擔任部長後，藉由每周一次的常會與大家討論下個活動的內容並檢討上個活動的缺失加以改進，也從中學習到接納別人的意見，不堅持己見，融合大家的觀點是一件很重要的事。)
Update 2:
I had joined the Student Association in the second year in the university, and attended the activities held by the association, and learned many methods of management and got along with people.
Update 3:
I also had learned how to write a project, a budget, how to complete one thing in cooperation effectively, how to lead the operation of an association. I served as the vice minister of Fine Arts and the minister of public relation.
Update 4:
I held a tea reception and served as the leader of the activity to allot the part of one’s job. we recruited more new members than before, and the Student Association had became the club which discuss by the freshman as we expected.
Update 5:
不要翻譯軟體翻的~真的很奇怪!!!!